Ego Boost

Today, I feel pretty damn good about myself.  This morning when I first woke up, I figured that today would be exactly the opposite; I woke up late, didn't have time to shower, threw my hair up in a messy bun, slapped a little make-up on to make myself somewhat presentable and ran out the door.  My jeans had holes in them, my shirt had a coffee stain from my morning java, and I had stray hairs flying aloof.  Needless to say, I looked atrocious.  I've always been one that cares what other people think.  I would never imagine going out in public without taking a shower and caking my face in make-up to make sure that I cover every last blemish I had.  If I didn't have time to shower and do my hair and make-up, I would simply not show up wherever I was supposed to be.  I was (and still am, somewhat) very insecure about myself.  This all changed about 4 months ago when I heard something that truly made me reevaluate my behavior.  My best friend/old roommate before I transferred to UCD is a psychology major and one day while we were at the gym she shared a quote that one of her professors said in one of her classes: "What other people think about you is none of your business".  It is very short and simple and it lacks long intellectual sounding words, but something about it really stuck to me.  It really is true.  Other people's interpretations of you aren't your business.  People may like to believe so, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion whether it is positive or negative.  Anyway, returning to the point, this made me feel totally ok with going out looking the way I looked this morning.  I still enjoy putting effort into my appearance for my own sake, but I do that for me and nobody else.  Who do I have to impress?  There is a great and very popular quote from Marylin Monroe that goes as follows: "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." This quote applies to so many different aspects besides just appearance, but in this situation, if people don't want to accept me when I look like shit, why should I be alright with them only accepting me when I look my best?  This is where the awesome part about today comes in.  Today, for whatever reason, I got hit on more times in one day than I ever have before.  I'm assuming it's because I'm actually comfortable in my own skin for the first time...well...ever.  I look in the mirror and instead of constantly criticizing my imperfections, I notice the good things like how my lips are very full and luscious or how my green eyes pop out when I wear a certain color eye shadow.  I don't feel like I act differently, but I wonder if this new outlook of myself shows subconsciously.  It's a nice feeling.  For years and years I have never felt like I could or had the right to be confident looking the way I do.  I'm a bigger girl, definitely not stick thin or model material, but who says that means I'm not beautiful in my own unique way?  I have my boyfriend to thank for this new found self confidence.  He is always reassuring me that I'm pretty, adorable, sexy, beautiful, ect.  I am forever grateful for it.  With his help, along with a little effort from myself to actually believe his words instead of just rolling my eyes and scoffing it off like I used to, I now have found this new self-confidence in myself that I honestly never thought I would see.